Father-Prayer

I had many expectations of this process. I dreamed of nursery decor, of name choosing, of fluttery kicks, of swollen belly. One thing that I pictured in my dreamworld of expectation was a scene, late at night, laying in bed side by side with his hand on my swollen belly as he prayed for our child. You see, Cole was created with a father heart. He was made to be a dad.

Without even realizing my unspoken expectations, I now find a similar scene playing out - yet not quite as I had envisioned. I now find us late at night, laying side by side with his hand on my not-so-swollen belly - still praying faithfully for our child.  One night, quite a few months ago, we laid there in silence with his hand on my midsection while I was probably scrolling through Facebook on my phone. After awhile, I grew self-conscious and asked him what he was doing. "I'm praying for you," was his response. I put down my phone and asked him to do so aloud. And every night since then has found us, side by side, his hand on my stomach, praying. For me, for us, for our someday-children.

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You see, his faith buoys mine when it seems I am sinking. His hope gives me hope when tomorrow seems dark. His prayers remind me to trust in a sovereign God as he prays, "yet, not our will, but yours, oh Lord." When all of me wants to scream, "Don't pray that! We may never get what we want!"  He steadfastly prays, "Whether by our flesh or by another's, we pray that you would grow our family, and give us the strength, grace, and wisdom to raise them according to your will."

My husband lives life with an open hand: giving freely to those around him and receiving with thanksgiving whatever his Good Father sees fit to give him. My life is so much richer with him in it, and our children will be so blessed by the prayers of their father.