It wasn't a difficult decision, really, to keep the news to ourselves. After all, there were so many points throughout our infertility journey where we felt all too exposed, all too open. For once, it was really nice to have something that was just ours, our secret to harbor, to whisper back and forth to each other under the covers, to share a knowing smile in the midst of oblivious company. It was easy. Funny how you can be simultaneously bursting at the seams with joy, and yet effortlessly keep the news under wraps.
The timing was such that the Christmas holiday coincided with the end of my first trimester, a logical time to share the news. My entire family, grandparents included, would be gathered together on Christmas morning - ideal. After noticing that my parents lacked a baby monitor (and noting their growing need for one), we decided that that would be the perfect Christmas gift for them - and how we would share our news.
Christmas morning came and we were both a bundle of nerves. How we carried on normally all morning is beyond me. Stockings were opened, breakfast was eaten, and round and round the circle we went opening one gift at a time. With a delightful two year old niece and a grandmother with a tendency to gush, the process took a bit longer than normal. My heart beat out of my chest.
Mom and Dad bestowed the final gifts, and I feigned confusion as to why there was not one more gift under the tree. I ran downstairs to retrieve the wrapped baby monitors, and - as luck would have it - it ended up being the final gift of the morning. (Note: we almost lost my brother and niece to a discipline moment, but were somehow able to keep them in the room.)
Mom opened the gift, sitting in a chair on the edge of the dining room. As she pulled off the wrapping, it quickly became evident that she didn't quite make the connection we were hoping to make. She said, "You know, we DO need one of these! Thank you!" Shaking with adrenaline from head to foot, I mentioned, "And you'll need it even more in July."
She froze. *At this point, I have no idea what everyone else was doing. For some reason, I couldn't take my eyes of my mom.*
"What?! Really?!" with her hand over her mouth.
All I could do was smile through my tears and nod.
She fell to her knees, tears filling her eyes, and crawled across the floor to hug me. Behind her, dad wept and came over to hug Cole. I pulled back from her long enough to see my sisters and grandparents in tears too. We cried a lot as we filled them in on the timeline and smiled at their incredulous gasps that we were already 12 weeks along.
All the tears. All the hugs. I don't think I stopped shaking from the adrenaline for hours.
The rest of the day was a blur of tears and awe. (Especially as Pondra arrived and shared the news that Tyson and Laura were expecting - and Dad shared with them the gift we had given them. More tears and hugging and emoting.) We cried through dinner as we marveled at God's generosity to our family.
It was a Christmas we won't soon forget.
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