Insanity

We have been married for five years today. There's something about that benchmark that makes me feel like we should be adults by now, or something. In five years, we have seen so much fun and so much adventure and so much heartache and so much joy and so much of God's hand at work in our lives. In five years, we have moved six times. In five years, we have welcomed four nieces and nephews (soon to be five!). Five years ago, I'm sure we figured we'd have welcomed one of our own by now.

In five years, I've had about 60 periods. The last 15 have found me crying in the bathroom.

I had an anniversary gift for him wrapped in the closet in my office. (To be fair, it has also been a birthday gift, a Christmas gift, a Valentine's day gift, a Mother's Day gift, and a Father's Day gift.) Last August, I bought this figurine when I was just *sure* I was about to tell him that he'd be a dad. Three negative tests later, my monthly reminder was two weeks late and extra heartbreaking. So there it has sat, waiting month after painful month until I have good news to share.

And now, it looks like it'll stay in the closet for another month.

I had a teacher in high school who would often remind us of his favorite (and, in his mind, most applicable to high school sophomores) quote from Einstein who said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Frankly, this whole thing is beginning to feel a little insane.